Leave, Change or Accept

Paula Goode is a Coach, Author and Healthcare Transformation Specialist. Founder of the The Coach Hub at Goodeinsight Ltd (goodeinsight.co.uk)

 

 “When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness”

            Eckhart Tolle

How do we know what we can change and what we can’t? Who knows? Nevertheless, there are those that will try and others who do not. What appears to make the difference seems to boils down to choice. Leave, change or accept. There’s a current trend emerging, that just accepting suggests we are helpless, having learned to be helpless, so to speak.

In conversation recently someone told me that the problem at hand (or out of hand even) had been around for 35 years, all had tried to solve it without success. There was a sense of inevitability about any attempts to resolve this issue. Noticing that the rules applied to the decision-making resulted in only one outcome (the unhelpful one), two things occurred to me:

“You are confined only by the walls you build yourself”

       Andrew Murphy
 

“We cannot solve problems with the same level of thinking that created them”

            Einstein

 Martin Seligman, the American Psychologist and expert on positive psychology suggests that helplessness is learned. We become conditioned into believing that we cannot change a seemingly difficult situation. We don’t try, confined by the walls of our imagination. Unconsciously we unwittingly reinforce and sustain this self-created reality.

If Einstein is correct, then creating a different result means finding new ways of thinking. This involves a commitment to change, a commitment to solving the problem, the creation of something new.  Se we leave, change or accept? Either way the choice is yours….

“Never believe a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.”

            Margaret Mead

 
Paula Goode is the author of Notes on Nursing a Thought (2014)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=paula%20goode

 

 

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Newton’s Law, Relativity and Marmite

Notes On A Blog by Paula Goode

Paula Goode is a Coach, Author and Healthcare Transformation Specialist. Founder of the The Coach Hub at Goodeinsight Ltd (goodeinsight.co.uk)

“Creativity thinks up new things. Innovation does new things.”

                                                                                                Theodore Levitt

 An ambush was inevitable. A wielding of an oratory political sword across the airwaves.   What about privatisation of the healthcare system in the UK and why were nurses treated so badly? It crossed my mind that the potential answers were worthy of a doctoral thesis. It was a paradoxical monologue, challenging the status quo and opposing change all at the same time.

Is it true that we either hate something or we love it – black or white, good or bad, right or wrong? For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  The impulse is to swing to the right while the conversation polarises to the far left. Fortunately there’s an alternative, because unlike Marmite, most things are relative.

“To be called an innovation, an idea must be replicable at an economical cost and must satisfy a specific need…Innovation involves deliberate application of information, imagination and initiative in deriving greater or different values from resources…”

Paula Goode is the author of Notes on Nursing a Thought (2014)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=paula%20goode

The Gratitude Legacy

I was talking to a doctor recently who didn’t like the idea of being a legacy maker. He thought it sounded somewhat superior and grandiose. In essence, he couldn’t see that what he was doing was creating a legacy.

For clarity, a legacy:

“Anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor”

(Dictionary Reference.Com)

“Consequence, effect, outcome, upshot, spin-off, repercussion, aftermath, footprint, by-product, product, result, residue, fruits”

(Oxford Dictionaries.Com)

What proceeded was a discussion regarding a real life, fly on the wall observation of the fruits of his life saving work, the patients whose lives he had saved but also the strategic and academic endeavors that would inform and lead further work in his speciality. It was clear from the conversation, that he just couldn’t see the legacy in what he was doing. We may well ask why?

It would seem the habit of constantly judging what we do against the achievements of others can leave us feeling undervalued and lacking in contribution. Ironically, if you are in the business of hanging out with people at the top of their game, being anything less than the cream of the gold top can leave us feeling a failure.

The reality is, that everyday all our interactions are the opportunity to leave an impact, or consequence on the people and businesses we work with. Good or Bad. There is a significant difference between aspiring to be the best and comparing ourselves with the best. Comparing ourselves with the best can leave us feeling demoralized and unmotivated. Aspiring to be the best ignites, leads, stretches and grows us. When we are surrounded by legacy makers the bar we set for ourselves can be constantly out of reach – but this is an illusion. Like clinicians regularly exposed to high risk clinical procedures, they stop seeing what they do as risky,  risk (in our minds) being associated with something we don’t do on a regular basis which has catastrophic consequences should it go wrong.

It would seem that our legacy makers need reminding that the value of what they do doesn’t diminish because everyone around them appears to be contributing also.  This is true whether you are a doctor, nurse, manager, cleaner or CEO, the legacy is created through the consequences of what we do and its impact.    In any context it rings true that kind and encouraging words or expressions of gratitude can change someone’s life, if not save it.  The good news is, it’s a legacy that costs nothing.

Choosing To Let Go

Some of you will know that I spent some time with Michael Neill at the Supercoach Academy recently – he teaches The Three Principles of Mind, Thought and Consciousness.

One of the insightful teachings at the heart of the principles is the fundamental understanding that as humans we are inclined to being emotionally affected by what goes on around us through our thoughts. That the quality of our thoughts is alone responsible for the quality of our experience. This in itself can be a hard pill to swallow, especially for us action people, who love to go around helping and fixing anything that’s broken – in the world of the form (physical) that includes broken bones, injured bodies, the sick and the organisations that care for those in need of repair. It would seem that our emotions and feelings come about as a direct result of the quality of our thoughts, which ones we give energy to and which ones just flit in and out of our conscious awareness, are all just choices we make. Given the gift of conscious awareness, we get to observe and choose our thoughts.

The analogy of the pill is a great one to use here. We have all heard of the placebo. The placebo tricks the mind into believing that a cure or palliative intervention has taken place and somehow our symptoms disappear.  We get better because we expect to. There is a plethora of evidence to support this – so clearly it would seem that mind really has an influence over matter. This is nothing new in the world of self-improvement or medicine. The preference for medicine over non-clinical interventions is a debate for another day. Just maybe it’s a pill that’s just a little difficult for the power brokers to swallow.

When I first heard that maybe I was responsible for my own crappy day, I wasn’t best pleased. Then something really amazing happened. Along with the responsibility came freedom to choose, at any moment in time I got to let go of those negative thoughts and create space for a much more resourceful presence. It turns out I didn’t need to go looking for a pill to swallow I just needed to learn to let go.

Towards Success Versus Away From Failure

Over the last few months I have noticed that blogs written in a more ‘towards’ something better rather than ‘away’ from something undesirable, seem to generate much more interest from my readers.

Now this sounds pretty obvious when put this way, that people prefer to read and be inspired to generate a more positive, optimistic view of the future ahead. Focused on what we would like to create versus dwelling on what we would diminish appeals to most of us.

There’s a well-defined stream that runs through the world of self-improvement that is common to all. The idea that you get more of what you focus on. When we think about our goals, our plans and our strategy it helps to formulate a direction of travel and to focus on the journey ahead. At its simplest, when you focus on your problems, you appear to have more of them. When you focus on what’s good about life, what’s good about work and what’s good even about the taste of our coffee in the morning, we feel a sense of gratitude that softens our world.

So, take a moment…consider how much time is spent dwelling on what’s not working versus creatively planning a new and more colourful scene. As Walt Disney is famously quoted:

“If you can dream it, you can do it.”

Keep on dreaming, keep on creating and keep on believing.  You can do it!